I didn’t have the money to invest in expensive alcohol rehab centers and I didn’t feel like going public in an AA meeting. So I cured myself by reading a few books and doing a couple of at home hypnosis courses. It didn’t happen overnight – not that I am a slow learner – I think it just takes a while.
The starting point was becoming conscious that I had a problem. For me the hangovers were not as bad as the fact that I slep’t so badly. I would drink, than go to bed at the normal time – or earlier – and then wake up about 1am and not be able to sleep again until dawn when my then young children would come in and bounce on my bed. So aside from the headache, the nausea and generally looking terrible the next day I would just be completely exhausted. That made me extremely irritable and I hated myself the entire next day. I repeated this for years. Over time it dawned on me that for a few hours enjoyment of drinking, that I would lose the entire next day in misery. And my resolve never to drink again was there all day until the next evening when it seemed to disappear.
The other thing that I noticed at the time was how my kids just seemed to be high on life without the need for alcohol. They get up in the morning with great bundles of energy and seem to be able to giggle and laugh at the slightest thing. Wouldn’t that be wonderful I asked myself to be like that and not have to lean on alcohol for the laughs. I started looking out for adults who didn’t drink – ie teetotalers. Granted there are some who are quite frankly boring but there are other teetotalers who are high on life and have a great time at parties and other social events, just without the alcohol. That fascination with observing teetotalers started me thinking how wonderful it would be to be like that.
So I read a few books on alcoholism and how to stop drinking. One of them I remember was Allen Carr’s book. He gives a vivid example that stuck with me on how alcohol addiction is a slippery road into hell. I also did a couple of hypnosis courses at home which slowly started me back to the road of recovery. Guess what? I sometimes have an occasional drink, and because I rarely drink the taste is awful. Do you remember your first ever drink? You wondered how adults drank such horrible tasting stuff? But because it was “cool”, you kep’t going with it until you acquired a taste for it. And now I hate how after even one sip of alcohol, I can feel it coursing through my veins. And I get this dull kind of feeling all over. And then I don’t sleep. And although I have not had more than a few sips I wake up in the morning with this horrible taste in my mouth. I guess that must be something to do with the fact that alcohol is just poison in disguise – literally.